15 November 2016
Dear Future Self,
We all go through life stages. Childhood. Adolescence. Adulthood. Some move on to more life changes. Marriage. Parenthood. I have. And I have seen my needs and priorities change as I moved through each phase in my life. I have also noticed that I have certain values that remain steadfast and unchanging regardless of what life stage I am in. Honesty. Frugality. Order. I also highly value preserving memories and capturing life's most important milestones, hence, the genesis of The #DomesticGoddessMNL Project. It is a chronicle of my experiences, challenges, and solutions as I transitioned from an overachieving corporate manager to an entrepreneur full-time homemaker and mother of three. It's a very personal project that I have been itching to do and I decided to find out why. Am I going through a life stage change?
I searched for 'Life Stages' and found an interesting article from the American Institute for Learning and Human Development on Dr. Thomas Armstrong's Stages of Life. He says that each life stage has a unique "gift" that needs to be valued if we are to support the deepest needs of human life. Wow. Sounds intense. But it makes a lot of sense and can be a good guide for me as a parent to nurture and support the needs of my children by valuing the "gift" they contribute at each of their life stage.
As for me, I am at a life stage where I'm transitioning from Enterprise to Contemplation, and this puts some sense into my current needs and priorities. Find out your "gift" by checking out how Dr. Armstrong describes what he calls the 12 Gifts of Human Life Cycle:
- POTENTIAL: Prebirth - The child who has not yet been born could become anything – a Michaelangelo, a Shakespeare, a Martin Luther King – and thus holds for all of humanity the principle of what we all may yet become in our lives.
- HOPE: Birth – When a child is born, it instills in its parents and other caregivers a sense of optimism; a sense that this new life may bring something new and special into the world. Hence, the newborn represents the sense of hope that we all nourish inside of ourselves to make the world a better place.
- VITALITY: Infancy (Ages 0-3) – The infant is a vibrant and seemingly unlimited source of energy. Babies thus represent the inner dynamo of humanity, ever fueling the fires of the human life cycle with new channels of psychic power.
- PLAYFULNESS: Early Childhood (Ages 3-6) – When young children play, they recreate the world anew. They take what is and combine it with the what is possible to fashion events that have never been seen before in the history of the world. As such, they embody the principle of innovation and transformation that underlies every single creative act that has occurred in the course of civilization.
- IMAGINATION: Middle Childhood (Ages 6-8) – In middle childhoood, the sense of an inner subjective self develops for the first time, and this self is alive with images taken in from the outer world, and brought up from the depths of the unconscious. This imagination serves as a source of creative inspiration in later life for artists, writers, scientists, and anyone else who finds their days and nights enriched for having nurtured a deep inner life.
- INGENUITY: Late Childhood (Ages 9-11) – Older children have acquired a wide range of social and technical skills that enable them to come up with marvelous strategies and inventive solutions for dealing with the increasing pressures that society places on them. This principle of ingenuity lives on in that part of ourselves that ever seeks new ways to solve practical problems and cope with everyday responsibilities.
- PASSION: Adolescence (Ages 12-20) - The biological event of puberty unleashes a powerful set of changes in the adolescent body that reflect themselves in a teenager’s sexual, emotional, cultural, and/or spiritual passion. Adolescence passion thus represents a significant touchstone for anyone who is seeking to reconnect with their deepest inner zeal for life.
- ENTERPRISE: Early Adulthood (Ages 20-35) – It takes enterprise for young adults to accomplish their many responsibilities, including finding a home and mate, establishing a family or circle of friends, and/or getting a good job. This principle of enterprise thus serves us at any stage of life when we need to go out into the world and make our mark.
- CONTEMPLATION: Midlife (Ages 35-50) – After many years in young adulthood of following society’s scripts for creating a life, people in midlife often take a break from worldly responsibilities to reflect upon the deeper meaning of their lives, the better to forge ahead with new understanding. This element of contemplation represents an important resource that we can all draw upon to deepen and enrich our lives at any age.
- BENEVOLENCE: Mature Adulthood (Ages 50-80) – Those in mature adulthood have raised families, established themselves in their work life, and become contributors to the betterment of society through volunteerism, mentorships, and other forms of philanthropy. All of humanity benefits from their benevolence. Moreover, we all can learn from their example to give more of ourselves to others.
- WISDOM: Late Adulthood (Age 80+) – Those with long lives have acquired a rich repository of experiences that they can use to help guide others. Elders thus represent the source of wisdom that exists in each of us, helping us to avoid the mistakes of the past while reaping the benefits of life’s lessons.
- LIFE: Death & Dying – Those in our lives who are dying, or who have died, teach us about the value of living. They remind us not to take our lives for granted, but to live each moment of life to its fullest, and to remember that our own small lives form of a part of a greater whole.
These life stages and their "gifts" provide an interesting insight into our relationships with the people around us and provides a good guide on how we can support their needs at their life stage.
Cheers,
#DomesticGoddessMNL